Besides offering a delicious glimpse into English gentry life a century ago, who knew Downton Abbey could also yield insights about communication? Last Sunday’s installment gave us an example of brilliance and another of dull-wittedness.
Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham (played impeccably by Maggie Smith), is as shrewd a communicator as any diplomat. When grief and anger threaten to undermine the marriage of her son, Robert, the Earl of Grantham, and his wife, Cora, she intervenes.
Cora holds Robert responsible for the death of their daughter Sybil because he ignored the advice of the family’s longtime physician, Dr. Clarkson, when Sybil was gravely ill. But the course Clarkson advised held its own risks, and Sybil’s survival was unlikely no matter what course was chosen.
Approaching Clarkson privately, Violet persuades him to research similar medical cases, and he concludes that the chance of Sybil’s survival was “infinitesimally small.” When given this news, Cora’s assumption collapses, she reconciles with Robert and disaster at Downton is averted once again.
The lesson here is the power of facts. Violet manages to replace a belief (that emergency surgery could have saved Sybil) with a fact (that it fails in nearly every case). It’s hard to overcome strongly held opinions. Facts and data are the only way to do it, and they must be from a credible source.
Matthew Crawley on the other hand shows no such skill when it comes to choosing his words or the manner in which they are delivered. Now a partner with Robert, he has looked into Downton’s books and pronounces the estate has been “mismanaged.” Ouch. And he does so in Downton’s cavernous dining room, where all can hear. Ouch again.
That’s no way to get along with your partner, especially one as proud as The Earl of Grantham. Matthew should borrow a phrase from the world of private equity and say the estate has been “undermanaged” and can be “made even more useful.” That could establish some common ground with Robert and help enlist his support for any changes at the estate.
He at all costs should avoid late-twentieth-century terms like “right-sized” or “optimized.” Despite our many advancements since Downton’s time, our business language often seems to have regressed.